Freedom without awareness is reckless. Awareness without rebellion is boring.
Rebel Wisdoms
Part l – The Lockdown(s)
My teenager‑dom was fraught with difficult times.
I suffered greatly under parental lockdowns — and under my own.
According to my mother, I was too young to take part in some of the events a normal girl like me wanted to go to. According to me, I had already travelled the world, flown solo as an unaccompanied minor, and tasted enough freedom to make staying home feel like house arrest.
We were both absolutely convinced we were right.
I had zig‑zagged across Africa because planes needed refuelling more often back then. I had slept over in foreign cabin crew homes. I had smuggled tinned pork into countries where pork wasn’t allowed. I had ridden a lion in Trafalgar Square. I had ridden on the back of my father’s Honda Gold Wing into the Saudi Arabian desert and spent weekends with Bedouins.
I had, in fact, flown to the moon and back according to my BOAC (British Overseas Airways Company) logbook.
I have photos to prove it.
I was a confident little busker, guitar in hand, entertaining passengers on and off the plane.
Naturally, when we later lived on a property with a long straight driveway, a carport, and my mother’s lime‑green VW Passat — rebellion found wheels.
ll – Engineered Freedom
& Sweeping Tracks
The Evidence
On nights when the grapevine announced a party in town, I became my own taxi.
Once I heard the first sleep‑induced nasal sounds from the master bedroom, I went through my routine: Bathroom. Water. Keys. Party outfit under pyjamas.
Out the kitchen or bedroom window — latched just loosely enough to be reopened later with an ice‑cream stick.
I released the handbrake, checked neutral, and pushed the car out of the sandy carport and up the cemented driveway into the road.
That pushing took serious determination, muscle, and will. Only once safely out of earshot, did I start the engine.
Coming home was easier. Lights off. Engine off. Free‑wheeling silently down the driveway into the carport.
I then broke a branch from the hedge and swept over any fresh tyre tracks.
I thought I was brilliant. But. What I could not sweep away was the tachometer. Or the fuel gauge. Soon my mother started wondering out loud
why the car was using so much petrol.
Eventually my cover — or rather, my carefully swept illusion of freedom — was blown.
One night I found the window properly latched from the inside. I spent the night outside with our very confused German Shepherd, cold and miserable,
until I heard the kettle boil in the morning. My mother opened the door and thanked me, icily, for not waking the rest of the household.
Later that day I was presented with a bill. Petrol. Wear and tear. A portion of the upcoming service. Tyres.
It took an unbearably long time to pay off on scant pocket money.
lll – Paying The “Bill”
The Bill
While paying off that bill — staying home on weekends, working off my debt — I learnt the irony that has followed me ever since:
In creating that exhilarating rebellious freedom, I imposed more confines upon myself than anyone else ever had.
And yet — that confinement still felt better than one imposed by others.
Looking back now, I see two forces that have driven my need to “cover my tracks” throughout life:
- my need for freedom. A freedom of spirit that ruthlessly resists imposed restrictions of body, mind, and soul. It’s proven challenging but I’ve remained faithful to her
- my dogged determination – the will and muscle power I put behind what I value. If it doesn’t speak to my values, I don’t do it. It isn’t meant for me.
Will I ever stop? I don’t think so. I married a man wise enough to say that a happy wife who is sometimes gone – doing her freedom – is better
than an unhappy wife who is always home. Good logic, don’t you agree?
7 Wisdoms on how to rebel
- Choose freedom consciously — not reactively.
Rebellion works when it’s chosen, not when it’s a reflex against authority. - Do the work your freedom requires.
If you want out, be prepared to push — quietly, steadily, and with muscle. - Think three steps ahead.
Rebels plan. Chaos is lazy. Strategy is freedom with foresight. - Cover your tracks — but never deny them.
Own what you do. Pay the bill. Integrity keeps rebellion clean. - Let consequences teach you, not tame you.
Self-imposed limits teach faster — and hurt less — than borrowed obedience. - Stay loyal to the part of you that won’t be caged.
She will complicate things. Keep her anyway. - Only put your will behind what truly matters.
If the fire isn’t there, it isn’t yours.